What do I do when a turnaround just feels like another way to beat myself up?
Two powerful ways to address this issue are:
- Keep the example for the turnarounds specific to the situation being questioned. Notice if you generalize it to the rest of your life. For instance, if the turnaround is “I should not lie” and you start finding all the ways you lie, it can be very overwhelming. But if you keep the example specifically to that situation and find how I should not lie to that person in that situation, it can be much less shame-producing and more insightful and productive.
- See that in any particular situation we don’t have a choice to act in any other way given what we believed in the moment. We have to live out what we believe. We either live out our beliefs or we question them. That is all we can do. Understanding this helps put our behavior in context and allows us to see ourselves with more compassion.
Submitted by Bryan Wagner